Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....

American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.

I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!

GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.